What Is Love?
Hello blogging world!
I want to apologize for my absence these past few Mondays, I've been all over the place... Cape Cod, a wedding, the Taylor Swift Concert, Seabrook, North Conway, my first barre class and on several other new adventures! Since the summer is sadly already coming to an end, I've been trying to squish all my summer adventures into the final few weeks-- as I'm sure you all have been too! As far as updates, I don't want to bore you, so, if you care check out my vsco I've been pretty active. I love new experiences, catching up with old friends and traveling to old & new spots-if you have any good ones, toss them my way!
To jump right into today's topic I'm going to hit you with the famous lyric: "What is love? Baby Don't hurt me!" by Haddaway. The artist hit the nail on the head with questioning what love is. The word love is quite mutlifunctional if you really think about it. We used this 4 letter word to describe such intense emotions or to add some dramatic intensity to a less emotional situation. The English language has upwards of 170,000 words, most of which half of the entire population doesn't even have knowledge of. This is a crazy fact in and of itself, but what's even more mind boggling is the fact we use the word love for so many scenarios, which are often regarding completely different situations. For example, I say I love my parents but that type of love is so different than when I tell someone I love their shirt, make sense? This is where I think we get a little turned around. We use the word love to describe such small feelings towards something but also to describe a feeling that, in my opinion, is larger than a single word, which doesn't seem quite fair.
The Greeks were ahead of their time; they used different terms to classify the type of like/love they felt. Though there is conflicting research, I am going to talk about 8 different types of love the Greeks believed were important enough to have their own term. They are: Eros, Philia, Storge, Ludos, Mania, Pragma, Philautia, and Agape. To break these down into really simple terms:
1. Eros- erotic love
2. Philia- affectionate love or love between equals
3. Storge- familiar love, often between parents and children
4. Ludos- playful love, young love, falling in love but often is lost in long term relationships
5. Mania- obsessive love, try to love because of desire to be loved-often due to low self-esteem
6. Pragma- enduring love, beyond physical, it is aged and developed, there is effort from both sides
7. Philautia- self love, not vain or narcissistic but just having care for yourself
8. Agape- selfless love, no desires or expectations just pure love for others
To achieve pure happiness and feel fulfilled in our romantic and platonic relationships we need to realize what forms of love we are providing and what we are receiving. No, I am not suggesting we bring these Greek words into our daily vocabulary but I do think it's important to know there are different types of love and know what they mean. This can help bring some clarity to our relationships.
When I look around our society, specifically at our generation I see a lot of Eros and Mania. Yes, these types of love can be momentarily fulfilling but generally struggle to sustain time. Young kids in relationships use the term love so nonchalantly, but I think they fail to see that: "I love strawberries", "I love books", "I love my friends", "I love my parents", "I love my boyfriend" and "I love my dog" all have very different meanings and emotions attached to the term. I think we fall into difficult situations when we loosely toss out the word love.
I'm a big believer in telling people how you feel, though I am terrible at showing emotions. When you tell someone you love them it is really important your actions match what you are verbally saying. In my opinion, the word love is meaningless unless you can put action behind it.
Can you love more than one person in the same way? Can you love more than one person at the same time? Is there such things as soulmates? Can you have more than one love in your life? Do people love the same way? These are all questions that I cannot answer. However, I can answer the type of love I want for the people I love.
I've thought a lot about the type of love I want for my friends, family and myself. I want a love that cannot be broken by words, a love that is stronger than we know possible, a love that encompasses all good things, a love that is capable of evolving and growing a love that is backed up by actions. To make this possible and more attainable I have a challenge for you, that I am going to participate in as well.
Challenge: Put actions behind your words, go above and beyond, under promise and over deliver. Figure out what love means to you in a platonic relationship, romantic relationship and in your daily life and act on it. What type of love do you want? What type of love have you had? How would you change the type of love you had? Were there faults in your love or was it always good?
PQTH,
HAN